visit to Virginia and beyond...

We went to visit grandma and grandpa in Virginia from July 20th-August 12th--the shortest & longest three weeks of the summer for me. The brevity of those three weeks is due to Matthew's great developmental accomplishments. He went from squirming like a worm on the floor to crawling on hands and knees in a short 5 days! I'm sure all that squirming and maneuvering on his belly all attributed to his increased ability to get himself from point A to point B, but it literally took about 5 days to get to the next level for him, and boy it was amazing! I couldn't be prouder to see my boy crawl. Not only that, but his personality is shining through even more. When he gets happy or excited he expresses it by laughing while clapping and turning around in sitting position. He looks as though he's on a mini merry-go-round; it's the cutest sight ever. On top of that, he's learned that "up, down" means put your head up then down. By the end of our trip, this was translated into "ahn nyung hah seh yo" in which he just drops his head down. If he likes you he'll keep nodding his head up and down, making you say "ahn nyung hah seh yo" over and over again. Sometimes I wonder who's playing with who here. hehe.. When his daddy got back from Canada, he taught M the word "bahksoo." Not that he could say it, but he definitely understands and responds by clapping his hands. I have such a smart boy!

As awesome as it was to witness all these little milestones, the three weeks were TOO long to be without my husband. He was off in Canada with a group of kids from our church doing missions work in Gitanyow--a Native American village. How I wanted to be there!!! But, I knew that my role was to stay home, take care of M and pray, so I did and God was more than my comforter. Many times I felt like my heart physically ache because of his absence, but I prayed into it, asking God specifically to be my comforter and He was. Thank You Jesus! Sometimes I wish I could just be somewhere like Gitanyow, or Newark airport on the morning of Huey's arrival, but as a mom I have to put M first, which in all honesty is really hard for me sometimes. I love him and would give up my life for him, but sometimes I just want to do something for me, you know? And I can't. Being a mom is no easy role; it's all about being selfless--about putting my family's well being before my own. It's hard, and sometimes I feel like I'm at the edge of tipping over when taking care of my family and home. This compels me all the more to pray because I know I just can't do it on my own....

I pray and ask God for much needed grace, wisdom, patience, a good sense of humor and passionate love because I know my family needs me to embody these things.

I pray and desperately ask God to help me because I love my family.

Those three weeks away from Huey were probably the hardest weeks, along with all the other weeks he's been away. This time around though, it wasn't AS bad as the other times b/c of one thing: I embraced my role as a mom and a wife--I stayed home, took good care of M and prayed for my husband. It's much easier to live life to the fullest when you actually start to embrace your role, your circumstance and situation that's in front of you.

A few more updates:

- M now points to things that he wants and pushes away things that he doesn't want (i.e. the milk i'm trying to feed him for HIS OWN GOOD! sigh..)

-M will not stay still while having his diaper changed. This poses a HUGE and MESSY problem when he's pooped. And let me tell you, his poop is no ordinary little poop that you would think would come out of a little baby. OOOHHHH NOOOOO!

- M loves it to be quiet and will yell at anyone who is making too much noise (i.e. he yelled at everyone during the mini-olympics at the retreat. another i.e. he yelled at zoie for screaming. )

-M loves to play peek-a-boo. He always has, but really cracks up each time...love it!!

-M LOVES cell phones, cable boxes, laptops/computers, and remote controls.

-M LOVES books and is quite skilled at flipping pages.

2 Years and Counting :D :D :D

For all those years I talked about, cried over and wondered if I would ever find a man--a good quality, God-fearing man--I am so very glad that I could sit here today and say that I am married to Huey, the man that I dreamt of and desired. I remember the first time I knew I was going to marry Huey...it was right before our 1st date. I know, seems kind of like...I can't think of the word..like Woah! Slow down Alice! (My vocabulary has decreased tremendously since my pregnancy.) But I remember that exact moment. It happened at morning prayer meeting. I read Mark 10..

4They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'[a] 7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

At first I thought why is God telling me about divorce??? And I'll get to that later. After reading the rest of the verses though, I knew from then on that I was going to marry Huey. This is what God intended when he created marriage. This is what He intended for me and Huey. Never did I feel such conviction and certainty. I was SO overwhelmed. SO excited. I had grown up watching my parents love each other, grow together, and be each other's best friend, and I was SO ready to start that phase of my life with Huey.

At the start of this section of Mark 10, Jesus addresses divorce and states that the only reason why it exists is because "your hearts were hard." I've only been married for a short 2 years, but I could see how if you hold a grudge here, make an assumption there, and never really communicate and open up to change, then one's heart could become hard to the point of no return. But, this is one of the greatest things about loving Jesus and marrying a man who loves Jesus. No matter what happens--no matter what kind of misunderstanding we go through, or what type of hardships we face in our relationship--I know that there will be an end to it, and that the outcome will only bring about a deeper closeness between the two of us. I know this b/c Huey and I are both committed to God b/c we know we can't live w/o Him. That translates into our commitment to one another. There is no leaving or looking outside of our relationship for answers. It's within our hearts. Divorce happens b/c one's heart gets hard, so to avoid all that ugliness, I've learned that when things get yucky I have to first look w/in my heart and ask myself honestly if there's something that needs to be dealt with. Before I point fingers or lose control of my emotions and thoughts, I have to be introspective and honest with myself. I have to make sure that my heart isn't hard, but rather it's sensitive, full of love and grace. I have to make sure that sin (ex. my insecurities) is not dictating how I respond in a certain situation, but that my heart is pure and again, full of love.

This is not something that's easy nor is it pretty. It's hard searching in my heart b/c I tend to find out things that are SO ugly and that I just do not want to even start dealing with. But, as hard as it is , I have to say that it's much harder being upset b/c my husband and I aren't communicating well. And in all honesty, all this soul-searching, repenting and forgiving has brought me SOO much deeper in my relationship with God and with Huey. It's actually been one of the best things about being married.

So, with that said I just want to say that I am so thankful for my husband. In the past two years, he has shown me what commitment is all about. He's been persistent, gentle, so kind and loving, always willing to be better for me, helping me to be better with God, accepting all of me (my extra 30 lbs and some! haha) and always praying for me. I couldn't ask for more. I pray that I may always be a wife that's deserving of such a husband. God help me to love him the way you do!

So, cheers to 2 years babe! I wish we could celebrate it together today, but it's just one day out of the many more days that we'll be spending celebrating our life together. I love you!